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0 Subject: Season 17 Week 1 Raw Points

Posted by: Farn
- Leader [451044109] Mon, Apr 11, 2011, 23:13

  Points          
Alberto Del Rio 0          
Alex Riley 5 5        
Alicia Fox 0          
Beth Phoenix 0          
Big Show 0          
Booker T 0          
Bret Dibiase 0          
Brie Bella 45 30 15      
Brodus Clay 0          
Chavo Guerrero 0          
Chris Jericho 0          
Chris Masters 0          
Christian 0          
CM Punk 0          
Cody Rhodes 0          
Curt Hawkins 0          
D.H. Smith 0          
Daniel Bryan 17 5 12      
David Otunga 5 5        
Dolph Ziggler 30 5 10 15    
Drew McIntyre 0          
Edge 7 2 5      
Evan Bourne 17 5 12      
Eve Torres 19 15 2 2    
Ezekiel 30 5 25      
Gail Kim 2 2        
Goldust 0          
Great Khali 0          
Heath Slater 30 5 25      
Hornswaggle 0          
Husky Harris 0          
Jack Korpela 0          
Jack Swagger 15 15        
Jerry Lawler 32 2 30      
Jey Uso 0          
Jim Ross 5 5        
Jimmy Uso 0          
John Cena 27 5 2 10 10  
John Morrison 20 5 15      
Josh Matthews 2 2        
JTG 0          
Justin Gabriel 30 5 25      
Kaitlyn 0          
Kane 0          
Kelly Kelly 0          
Kofi Kingston 0          
Layla 0          
Mark Henry 17 5 12      
Maryse 0          
Mason Ryan 5 5        
Matt Striker 0          
Melina 0          
Michael Cole 15 3 2 5 5  
Michael McGillicutty 5 5        
Michael Tarver 0          
Michelle McCool 0          
Natalya 2 2        
Nikki Bella 5 5        
Primo Colon 15 15        
R-Truth 45 5 10 10 10 10
Randy Orton 20 5 15      
Ranjin Singh 0          
Rey Mysterio 0          
Ricardo Rodriguez 0          
Rosa Mendes 0          
Santino Marella 17 5 12      
Scott Stanford 0          
Sheamus 0          
Sin Cara 30 30        
Skip Sheffield 0          
Steve Austin 0          
Tamina 2 2        
Ted Dibiase Jr. 0          
Teddy Long 0          
The Miz 5 5        
The Rock 0          
Todd Grisham 0          
Trent Barreta 0          
Triple H 0          
Trish Stratus 0          
Tyler Reks 0          
Tyson Kidd 0          
Undertaker 0          
Vickie Guerrero 8 5 3      
Vince McMahon 0          
Vladimir Kozlov 0          
Wade Barrett 30 5 25      
William Regal 0          
Yoshi Tatsu 0          
Zack Ryder 0          
Total 559          
1Farn
      Leader
      ID: 451044109
      Mon, Apr 11, 2011, 23:13
- The Edge goodbye backstage was taped. Plus it included every superstar so giving 2 points would have defeated the purpose.
2Farn
      Leader
      ID: 451044109
      Mon, Apr 11, 2011, 23:13
  Season Week PPV Raw
RJ 97 97 0 97
Rude 77 77 0 77
Great One 75 75 0 75
Zyre 67 67 0 67
Tree 54 54 0 54
Wiggs 32 32 0 32
Nailer 22 22 0 22
chunk bar 15 15 0 15
Farn 7 7 0 7
Bobo 2 2 0 2
3Great One
      ID: 4733559
      Tue, Apr 12, 2011, 15:22
Looks like i may have stepped into some luck with R-Truth.
4Farn
      Leader
      ID: 451044109
      Tue, Apr 12, 2011, 18:01
On behalf of my Season 16 team... Suck it!
5Nailer
      ID: 552152915
      Wed, Apr 13, 2011, 16:08
Me, Roode and some guys used to write parody show reports. If we have time and you guys dig them, we'll do others.

** WARNING...these are parody posts, but they are full of spoilers **


RAW Results for 04/11/11

Pre-RAW Tough Enough Results:
The contestants learn what courage is by dressing up as astronauts and getting their asses bit by trained ass-biting dogs. Three dogs need tetanus shots afterward. Jeremiah and Luke start a bromance. Hugh Morris squashes John Cena. Trash Stratus talks about crickets and I'm in love cause Canadian chicks rock. The gymnasium guy gets sent home for being an emotionless robot. And that's the bottom line!
-----------

Welcome to RAW is WAR! Coming to you live from the Stoney Badger Tavern in Lynchburg, VA!

(bullets start whizzing through the windows)

Sloshed Mathews: We are in da LBC! Live from the Stoned Badger Tavern! Tonight we hear a big announcement from the HW Champion Edge. Stay tuned! I need another drink over here, please!

Jerry Lawless: Man, they have some great wings here! I haven't seen legs so scrumptious since Stacy Kiebler danced on the announce table. Haha! Let's get to the matches.

WWE Divas Title Match: Brie Bella d. Eve Torres
Both Bellas are out and all the guys watching feel like having a twin sandwich. The Bellas pull the switch-a-rooni on the ref and Brie gets the title win. DaHodges has Eve, but Brie on IR thus having to settle for match loss points. An outraged Booker T yells, "Tell me she didn't just win this!" Hair is flying everywhere in the back when Eve says the women are ho's concerned about themselves. Look for more hair flying in the future.

Sin Cara d. Primo in a Sombrero Match
Sin Cara enters with a Triple flip off the Spanish announce table and the crowd yells Olè! Primo dances a great jig around a Mexican hat but Sin Cara hits the top-rope Margarita Mash for the 1...2...3.

****
Teaser of Edge possibly retiring. RWF manager Tree lost his cookies in his milk thinking his next top scorer could end up to be Santino. Somewhere, manager Nailer smiles.
****

Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Slater and Gabriel (The Corre) d. Santino Marella, Evan Bourne, Mike Henry and Daniel Bryan (Apple)
Santino introduced his team as "The Apple," or Allied People Powered by Loathing Everything (The Corre stands for). Wade tells a dirty joke about an Italian, a midget, an African and an Irishman who walk into a bar together and all hell breaks loose. Slater from Saved By the Bell sneaks a dirty shot in and the Corre wins. The Apple team might the hottest since the Malenko, Benoit, Mongo, Flair version of the Four Hoursemen.

Jerry Lawless d. Jack Swagger
If Lawler wins, he gets to face Michael Cole at Extreme Rules in a match of his choice. Swaggar is pounding down Lawless until Slim Hoss runs down with a plate of Stormy Badger wings covered in Slim Hoss's Bar-B-Que Sauce (online ordering available). Swagger ate more than Greg Roode at a Hibachi Grille and couldn't get off the mat. Lawless with the easy win and a trip to the ppv for manager RJ and DaHodges. Lawless grabs the mic and yells, "I'm feeling as randy as a badger in heat!"

Edge comes out and talks about the grand old days of the Conquistadors, Lita cheating on Matt Hardy with him and almost breaking Jose Estrada's neck (the irony!). He says he has Spina Bifida and wants to retire and f*ck the season of RWF manager Tree. Christian comes out and asks the crowd if they want a 5-second pose "for the benefit of those with flash photography". They scream "YEAH!", so E/C turns around, bends over and speads their ass-cheeks at them for 5 seconds.

******
(commercial)
Get your Stone Cold Wife Beaters on sale now at the RWF Shopzone!
******

5 Man Gauntlet Contender's Match: Ricky Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison vs. R-Kelly vs. John Cena
WWE Champion The Miz is out to watch. Ricky and Dolph start the match. Ricky is tilted out when the Nexus Team slams a Stoner Badger pinball machine on his head. R-Kelly takes out Ziggler with the "You're Not Mister Perfect-plex" finisher. Jim Morrison rushes down and does his signature flip-flops all over the ring. R-Kelly pulls out his glock and pops a cap in his ass. Gangster Cena disarms R-Kelly, but The Miz interrupts causing a 'Double DQ' finish. The GM says there are now two contenders and there will be a Triple-Threat match for the heavyweight title--The Miz vs. Cena vs. R. Pope Dinero.

All three teabag a passed out Sloshed Mathews. WHAT'S UP!?! WHAT'S UP!?!

Jerry Lawless: Goodnight from the Stunning Beaver Tavern!!!


End of show.


MATCHES
* Brie Bella def. Divas Champion Eve
* Sin Cara def. Primo
* The Corre def. "The Apple"
* Jerry Lawler def. Jack Swagger
* Five-Man Gauntlet Match ended with John Cena and R-Truth in a Double Disqualification

6dahodges
      ID: 33326416
      Wed, Apr 13, 2011, 20:41
Who in the world decided to let a bella twin be the womens champion?
7Great One
      ID: 4733559
      Thu, Apr 14, 2011, 14:18
Good stuff Nailer... certainly a more interesting read, thats for sure.

Rude doesn't write these, does he? I didn't know he could read... let alone write. Ohh!!!! chairshot!!!!
8Great One
      ID: 4733559
      Thu, Apr 14, 2011, 14:19
They are gonna do the Bella switch to keep the belt for a while I suspect, leading to a match between the two over who is actually better in a couple months. Guarandamnteed.
9Greg Rude
      ID: 12217719
      Fri, Apr 15, 2011, 00:01
LOL G.O. * recovering from chair shot *
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