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Subject: George Carlin Dead at 71
Posted by: nerveclinic
- [5047110] Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 09:32
Certainly belongs in the political forum as biting political humor was his forte`.
Special milestone for me as Carlin was one of the 2 comedians, the other being impersonator Rich Little, who my father would wake me up as a young boy during the 70's to watch whenever he was on Johnny Carson.
Didn't matter if it was a school night, pop would yank me out of bed at midnight to sit down and watch Carlin's stand up. Ironic since my father is a Limbaugh conservative, although maybe less so back then.
I particularly like this quote from the NY Times article about his death...
“Scratch any cynic,” Carlin said, “and you’ll find a disappointed idealist.”
My explanation to those here who find me overly cynical at times, couldn't of said it better.
NY Times Obit
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| 1 | nerveclinic
ID: 5047110
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 17:30
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In case you never knew him...some of his thoughts.
why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?" "Are they afraid someone will clean them?"
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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| 2 | biliruben
ID: 52561217
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 17:45
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This Thread's got a bit more action.
I guess we could focus on the political here, however.
I wanna live. I dont wanna die. Thats the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.
You cant fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
I dont like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. When youre born in America, you get a front-row seat.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
Ive never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
George Washingtons brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Its because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
In America, anyone can become president. Thats the problem.
Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. Then youre just what theyre looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it.
The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably its because at the moment theyre not actually dying.
So far, this is the oldest Ive been.
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other peoples stuff.
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| 3 | nerveclinic
ID: 5047110
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 17:49
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In a truly political moment...
fair warning profanity.
link
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| 4 | nerveclinic
ID: 5047110
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 18:10
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More light hearted and sports related.
link
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| 5 | Boxman
ID: 571114225
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 18:38
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I am really going to miss him. The world is a much less funny place without this guy around. I watched his HBO specials with regularity and even at 71 he still had a lot to offer I think in terms of comedic relevance.
He's got God laughing His ass off right now.
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| 6 | sarge33rd
ID: 76442923
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 19:04
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One of my all time favorite comedians/intellects. Going to miss his razor sharp wit.
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| 7 | walk
ID: 12558186
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 20:17
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Well said, Box. This guy was truly one of a kind. Humor is like so important to life, and guys like him gave a lot of people a lot of fun.
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| 8 | Building 7
ID: 174591519
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 20:37
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It's a sad day in the Building 7 household. Good thing we have Youtube and DVD's. Although his material was often topical, it was also timeless.
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| 9 | Boldwin
ID: 85241823
Mon, Jun 23, 2008, 23:18
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Carlin kinda died for me when he grew his hair long. He had an eye for the incongruous and a pithy way of pointing it out. A frustrated cynical utopian. I agreed with the cynical part usually but distrusted the utopian impulse.
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